1. 10/13/2010 Overcommitment can kill your happiness
Publication: The Economic Times Mumbai;Date: Oct 13, 2010;Section: Career & Business;Page: 12
Overcommitment can kill your happiness
Marshall Goldsmith
WHAT kills happiness? It’s usually a series of simple little things, like saying yes too much when you really should say no. There is
a saying, “If you want to get something done, ask a busy person.” This makes sense; if you are a busy person, you are obviously
organised and practised at delivering results. Beware: There’s a fine line between taking on a lot and taking on too much.
It’s easy to see how people who are in corporate situations fall into the overcommitment trap. If you’re good at what you do and
like your job, everybody wants to rub up against you in some way. You get assaulted with opportunities. This happens at all levels.
It’s how junior employees advance more rapidly than their peers; their enthusiasm and ambition tempt bosses to pile on the work
until the employees cry uncle, which they never do. Eventually, the quality of their work begins to falter. It’s even easier to see how
self-employed people fall for this happiness killer. Without the cushion of a steady paycheque, you fear that every opportunity will be
your last payday. The result? You say yes to everything and find yourself unable to do it all.
Unable to Resist Flattery
I’m guilty of this. When someone invites me to talk to them or their organisation, it’s a straightforward pay-for-work opportunity for me.
So, if I show up, I get paid. If I say, “No, thanks,” I don’t. I fill my schedule with bookings months in advance, which allows me to see
where the quiet periods are in my calendar. I regard these periods of unbooked days as valuable time. But inevitably, someone will
call up and want to hire me. I say no at first, but they persist. They promise to work around my schedule; they flatter me. They are
telling me, “We want you!” — and that they’ll take me on my terms. So, I change my mind and tell them, “I’ll be there.”
From Regret to Burnout
I’m not whining. I know I’m lucky and that I’m describing the kind of high-class headache that most people would be happy to have.
I’m also not saying that the fine people who hire me under these circumstances get any less of my enthusiasm. I love what I do. But
the simple fact that I question my decision to accept the bookings represents a threat to my happiness. It injects the potential for
regret into the experience — and it’s just possible that a tiny drop of that emotion may bleed into my performance.
We all feel overcommitted on occasion. We can all benefit by acknowledging that we can fall into this trap. Nobody wants to look
like he’s weak. Perhaps we can’t resist when we’re asked to help out because it’s a validation of our skill and another way of being
told, “We love you.”
Businessweek
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